mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
