You work out of a Hotel?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
