now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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