May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
