You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
