I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
