Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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