Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
