did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
