Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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