I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She said her name was "party"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
