saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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