my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize