dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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