...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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