last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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