question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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