Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
