Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
