Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
