Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
