Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
