Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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