Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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