with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
