I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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