and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
