thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You may now shotgun with the bride
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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