and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
