No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
