'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it glows. i had to have it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
