i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize