her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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