How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
