I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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