My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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