I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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