Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
