dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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