so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
