you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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