i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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