The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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