Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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