I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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