the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
