I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
