So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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