Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
