Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
