You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
