He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize