We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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