I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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