She's JV to your varsity
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
They have beer where we have blood.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
