I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
