Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
