Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
