Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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