1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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