So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im holly from the hills drunk
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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