Yo dont text me then not text me
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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