I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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